Love in the Remains

I loved you.
I really, really did.
And I still do.
But I’m dead to you, aren’t I?
You’re doing absolutely everything in your power to forget me…
To erase every memory of us away like we never ever were.
That we never had something between us.
Something special.
Cuz we did.
We do.
And now that’s truly all gone.
I should have known…
I was hoping.
Hoping you’d contact me…
But you can’t even see me, now, can you?
You look right through me…
Like I’m not even here.
Like I never existed…
We’re done…
Aren’t we…?

I feel like I’ve lost everything I ever had.
You…
God…
You…
How do I begin to grieve for you?
How do I begin to go on?
I can’t begin to describe everything…
All the good things we had going.
The laughs…
The smiles.
The memories.
Just being.
Forget all the problems.
There was something about you…
Something that drew me to you.
Something that connected me to you…
Our writing.
Our shared souls…
Can I get over you, love?
Can I try again…without you by my side?

Why do you have to be lost to me…
Why do we have to do this.
What are we trying to prove?
Except the fact that we're both crazy?
That I love you even in the remains of this love.
That I've always loved you.
I am so, so sorry.
Don’t you know that?
God, how I love you…
I want to reach out and somehow make it okay.
But that door is closed to me…
Isn’t it…?
How did we wind up like this…
How did we wind up so wrong when everything felt so right?
When I held you…it felt like we belonged.
And we did.
We do.
But that can never be…
Never again.

…or can it?
Or can it…
Can it pull through?
It feels like it can’t possibly.
But hasn’t it before?
Am I a fool for continuing to believe?
Am I a fool for wanting to?
Call me whatever you wish.
Think whatever you like.
I’m just love sick.
For you…
Always for you.
I just can’t give us up.
I can’t give you up.
Not without trying.
Not before.
I think I know, now.
I think I do…
I’m going to try for you, honey.
Really try this time.
And if you don’t want me back…
Okay then.
I understand.
I'll get it, I swear.

But...
You were fighting for us…
…weren’t you?
Just not in the way I wanted you to.
Not in the way I thought you should.
But you were.
You cared.
You’ve always cared.
I just couldn’t see that.
I was so jealous, baby.
So, so jealous of absolutely everything.
I let it all get in the way.
And now look at where we are.

I’m so sorry, angel.
So, so sorry...
You’ve made your mistakes.
And now I’ve made mine.
Something has changed, this time.
And through all the tears.
I finally can see.