My Love

My Love,

                   I'm here alone...wondering...waiting.  It's so, so cold without you.  My tender heart aches and throbs and cries all at the same time.  The darkness consumes me, it's black tendrils squeezing my soul like writhing serpents bent on crushing it into submission.  The night is freezing, the stars but icy, dead gems in the sky.  The moon reflects the pallor of my soul, the light harsh and dull and wavering.  Will it disappear?  Where has my inner strength gone?

The air is thick...foggy...And I am left here wondering...waiting.

I imagine your tender smile, that soft look in your eyes that used to shine down upon me...and it twists and pangs my heart...and my dreams at night.  I drag myself through the day.  There is no light but yours.  I am but a wilting flower, dying, thirsting for something real, surrounded by all that is fake.  I can't tell what is what anymore...Neither right nor wrong...nor up or down.  I am confused...stumbling.

Where are you...?  I'm all alone here...scurrying frantically in the dark deep depths of my mind fighting to find a way back out to the light.  But I can't find one.  I have never been able to find one...Not without you...Are you...are you my only way out?  What do I do now?  I'm so lost and uncertain in my fate...

The night has crashed down upon me...and I am left here wondering...waiting.
For you.

The trees are losing their leaves, my love...falling gracefully in their coats of yellow and orange and red to their eternal rest.  The passing of the seasons will ne'er stop...time won't stop for anyone...

Tears unexplainably spring to my eyes, slide down the flushed skin of my cheek, rolling silently off my chin and to the floor.  There is something that aches in my soul, something no one else can soothe but you.  You are everything to me...And I am so, so lost without you.

Oh, where have you gone, Great Angel?  You seem so very far away, lost in your own journeys and decisions.  Do you have the time for me now?  You seem to be planning me out of your life.  Look...we are barely even friends now...or...so I try to lead myself to believe...yet I know...I know it's not true.  I know you are there.  But what has come between us, My Savior?  Please do tell me so that I may move forward...I am so tired of this constant spinning backwards...

I miss you...

There is a restlessness within me that needs you, calls for you.  I see you in my minds eye.  Perfect...but that's what you are to me...just...you.  Always you...it's all you ever have to be.  I can see right through you...I know you so well...

I can feel your lips touch mine...the lips of ghostly memory...so soft...so tender...There you go with that sweet smile of yours again...the one that makes me melt inside.  I can feel our souls sewing together all over again...and we are already one before you take my hand in yours.  We're like that, you and I.  You are my light...the other half of my soul now missing...

What happened to us...?  I'm left here wondering...waiting...

It's always you...My thoughts, my dreams...I just can't seem to get over or around you.  You make the nights beautiful...the day time glorious.  You give the sun its warmth and the sky its great navy hue.  You chase away the storm clouds, give the colors on the wind their vibrancy and make the air rich and sweet to breathe.  

My Angel of dreams...please...come and make me whole.  Give this world all the meaning I know it should have.  Let our souls touch and merge like before.  I am but a half without you.  Come and make me whole.

The night is so cold, My Love...my body aches...my soul screams...silently, as the tears glimmer in the corners of my eyes.  I need you in a way no one but you could ever understand.  Come to me, love.
Want me...
Need me...
Miss me...
I know you want to...I know you need to...Let us embrace the night and morn together...Let us bask in the glory of the moon and stars...Let us run through the forests and swim through the glistening streams and disappear into a world, one which only we can enter.  You know there is no other way for us...

Yet...I am here...alone...And wondering...waiting.

What has come between us, My Angel?  Where do I go from here...?  I don't know how you feel anymore...Where you stand...The days stretch endlessly before me.  The memories follow me, breaking me down when I least expect it.  My heart yearns for your embrace...my soul craves your sweet touch...

Please...
Bring me the dawn, My Love.
And chase away this darkness.
Because you are the light to my soul...
And I simply cannot live without you.